LV Yoga, Fareham
Things people have used to describe me:
“Subtle as a brick”
“Always gets what he wants”
“So calm and chilled”
“What’s he up to now? He’s mad!”
“Leads with blind faith”
“He’s not invested, he never stays past 5pm”
“He’s so committed”
“Angry at the world”
“He really cares”
“He just doesn’t care”
“He’s got a face like the back end of a bus”
“He’s got a lovely smile”
“I can read his face like a book”
“I can’t read him at all”
“He’s very quiet”
“He’s too loud”
“He has no regard for the rules”
“He’s all about the rules”
And to these comments, I say Thank You. You see, people don’t need to be just one thing. Just because they’re calm, doesn’t mean they can’t be scatty. Life is too complicated and interesting to be completely fixed on one level all the time. Each human being is totally unique, a complete mixed bag of complicated emotions, feelings, thoughts and expressions. So why is society so hell bent on seeing us all behave on one level? What’s the obsession with consistency and professionalism?
I’ve had a varied career, or as Marie Forleo would call it “Multi Passionate”. Even as a teenager I always had multiple jobs. I worked as everything from a housekeeper, shop assistant, cake packer, painter and decorator…there was nothing I wouldn’t give a go. As a ‘professional’ I mostly worked in the field of Human Resources/Learning & Development. I had some incredible opportunities, I got to travel the world and I even managed to win a couple of national awards for my projects in recruitment and training, one of these even lead to a nomination for a very prestigious international award. Yes, I’m blowing my own trumpet. Successes should be celebrated. Some people may consider this a dream career, and maybe it is for someone, but as it turns out, it’s not my dream. I was always flitting from job to job, trying to chase that dream of becoming a Manager. And when I did achieve that role, it didn’t give me the contentment I so desired.
So what is my dream? Or perhaps I should rephrase that. What are my dreams?
It’s often assumed that we’re all supposed to have this one big dream that we’re working towards. Our ultimate passion or goal. But in truth, I really don’t know where my passion lies.
I love yoga. Yoga has taught me so much. More than I can put into words. One of the main things it has taught me is that old cliché “Life is a journey, not a destination”. It’s a cliché for a reason. On a journey there are many paths, many forks in the road, many bumps and pot holes, roadworks, elevations, one way streets, junctions and expressways. And often you reach a destination and realise it’s not as bright and shiny as it looked in the brochure. Or perhaps it was once bright and shiny, but that shine faded away. And while some decide to stick it out in hope that it will one day shine again, others take off to their next destination on their journey, and some just wander until they stumble across something new. And all of these decisions are ok.
As a multi passionate person, I feel it’s within my nature to have a variety of different destinations to visit on my journey. This may sound like an awesome adventure, but in truth, it scares the s**t out of me! I’ve tried being that person with one ambition, I’ve tried committing to one path. But for some reason, the universe keeps throwing me off that path. And no matter what I do, there will always be curveballs and diversions. It’s just the life I’m supposed to live. I’m not meant for the 9-5, 40 years in the same career, the same home, the same town, working towards my retirement. I envy those people, but it’s simply not me.
At this part of my journey, I’m living my absolute dream. I have left the 9-5, I have my own business, I’m doing something I love, I’m spreading wellbeing and love to those who are wiling to receive, I have a family, a nice home and a really sweet little life. But am I content? Not one bit. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happier that I’ve ever been, that’s the truth. But happiness isn’t a destination either. It’s an emotion. And emotions come and go in each moment, they are not permanent states.
There are many spiritual philosophies about finding contentment and happiness in any given situation. This is so very true. Whether I’m living my best life or my worst, I can look deep inside myself and find a glimmer of gratitude somewhere. But that doesn’t mean I need to be happy 24/7. That’s simply not how emotions work. My point is, ambition has nothing to do with happiness. I don’t need to achieve something to be happy. When it comes to contentment, I can be content in the moment, but I’m not sure I have it in me to be content in the long-term. There’s too much out there to do, see and achieve for me to sit back, put my feet up and feel content with my life. I have too much ambition for that. And major FOMO!
I mentioned earlier that I am living my absolute dream right now. And this was my absolute dream for quite some time. But I’ve achieved it now. And instead of sitting back and feeling content about it, my soul is telling me to get back up and find a new dream, move onto my next adventure. Now don’t panic, this doesn’t mean I’m going to be giving up the yoga studio and flitting off India to live in an Ashram (at least not yet anyway!). But it does mean that I’ve re-evaluating my circumstances and making a plan for my next destination. However long that might take to reach. And yes, sometimes this does make me feel like I’m drowning. And often I need to slow myself down, to stop and smell the roses for a bit. But I’d feel like I was drowning if I stayed stagnant too, which means that for me, having dreams is essential to my wellbeing and my own vision of success.
So today, if you want to, I am giving you permission to throw those societal limitations in the bin and get out there and live your dreams. Plural.